Moliere's
The Precious Young Maidens
in a new verse adaptation
by Timothy Mooney
EXCERPT MASCARILLE I wrote it for her, right there, on the spot. CATHOS Improvisations are the breath of thought. MASCARILLE Then listen while I work through this convention. MAGDELON Believe me, sir, we both are rapt attention. MASCARILLE (Reciting.) Oh! Oh! I contemplated here completely off my guard With nothing else about or near, it quickly hit me hard Your eye, so sly, I did espy; with speed beyond belief You stole my heart and now I cry: 'Stop thief! Stop, thief! Stop thief!' CATHOS Ah, me! Oh, my! Your thing is so gallant! MASCARILLE It's cavalier. It doesn't seem to want For chivalry. I dodge the dull pedantic. MAGDELON A thousand, thousand leagues, much more romantic. MASCARILLE Did you see how I started it? Oh! Oh! Like something frightful, startling, you know? Oh! Oh! It's almost like a man who found Some something that made him release a sound. Oh! Oh! He says. Discovery. Surprise. MAGDELON Oh, yes. Oh! Oh! gives it a gallant guise. MASCARILLE It's nothing. CATHOS What? How can you say such things! That Oh! Oh's priceless. Good God, how it sings! MAGDELON Indeed it does! I'd rather those Oh! Ohs! Than any epic poem I'd compose. MASCARILLE By God, Miss, you've a plethora of taste! MAGDELON I flatter myself it's not gone to waste. MASCARILLE But how about I contemplated here? I contemplated here, as free from fear. I contemplated here, no pain, no doubt, Completely off my guard: no cause to shout, Completely off my guard, just like a sheep It quickly hit me hard. It is to weep. It quickly hit me hard. As if to say That there was pain in my delight that day. Your eye, so sly, I did espy... How's that? Does that not keep the verse from reading flat? What do you think? CATHOS Oh, it's quite excellent! MASCARILLE Espy, to look; to sneak a peek. I meant To summon up a mouse who sees a cat, MAGDELON The very image! Yes, I noticed that! MASCARILLE With speed beyond belief, just to convey The quickness with which all this came in play. You stole my heart: to take, to snatch, to plunder. And tell me now: did you catch this, I wonder? I finished off, Stop thief! Stop thief! Stop thief! Would you not hear this with the firm belief That this was shouted by a man now in the chase To catch a thief who runs a faster pace? As though the man had stolen of his chief Possession, thus: Stop thief! Stop thief! Stop thief! MAGDELON I must say that it's brilliantly disposed. MASCARILLE I'll sing it to the air that I've composed. CATHOS Did you learn music, too? MASCARILLE Me? Not a bit. CATHOS How did you manage then? MASCARILLE One must acquit Oneself with quality's true ring, By knowing all, but not to learn a thing. MAGDELON You must have known that. Obviously, yes? MASCARILLE Do listen. Tell if it suits you more or less. Ahem! Ahem! La, la, la, la, la, la You must forgive my furtive caw. The harsh brutality of this wet season Quite violates my voice beyond all reason. No matter. 'Tis a lilting folksy air And here, 'twixt friends, such discord we might dare. (Singing.) Oh! Oh! I contemplated here completely off my guard With nothing else about or near, it quickly hit me hard Your eye, so sly, I did espy; with speed beyond belief You stole my heart and now I cry: 'Stop thief! Stop, thief! Stop thief!' CATHOS How passionate a tune, oh, still my heart! MAGDELON There are chromatic levels to the art. MASCARILLE And is this thought not elegantly tuned? Stop thief! And then as one who feels a wound: Stop thief! And then, now running out of breath: Stop thief! A small collapse. A little death. MAGDELON It's as to know the height of all great heights; The highest height; a height which may ignite A high-ness over other elevations. It's marvelous. I am in palpitations. CATHOS It leaves me breathless, buoyant and yet burning. MASCARILLE It's inborn. With no study and/or learning. MAGDELON Fair nature brought you up as her own child; Such art here in the raw, untrammeled, wild. MASCARILLE And how do you pass time here in this place? CATHOS On nothing whatsoever. MAGDELON Such disgrace! We're starved of any prospect or proposal. MASCARILLE Good ladies, I am at your fond disposal To take you to a play, if you desire. There is a playwright who I most admire, Whose work is in rehearsal. I was hopin' That you might come with me to see it open. MAGDELON I can't imagine that we might refuse MASCARILLE I must however beg that you'll excuse If I clap with conviction and with vigor. I told the writer I would be a figure Pronounced in acclamation of his craft. Just as at other shows I cheered and laughed. It's often that these playwrights come recite Their works to me in light of how I might Affect opinions of the larger masses Ensuring that their inspiration passes For genius and a sterling reputation. The pit won't contradict my proclamation For I make sure the work will well acquit By shouting Bravo! ere the lights are lit.
About Timothy Mooney
Tim Mooney has worked in, with and around the theatre for almost thirty years, as an actor, director and playwright, and everything in-between.
Tim received his bachelors degree from Southern Illinois University, and a master of fine arts degree from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. He went on to internships with the Alabama Shakespeare Festival, the Milwaukee Repertory Theatre and the Seattle Rep, where he was assistant director to John Dillon and Daniel Sullivan, respectively.
Tim taught acting and stage movement for two years with Northern Illinois University, before creating The Script Review, a newsletter that reviewed some 700 plays in manuscript form over the course of seven years, distributed to Literary Managers and Directors all over the United States. As a director, Tims production of Secret Obscenities was one of five winners at the Bailiwick Directors Festival in Chicago.
From there, Tim stepped in as Artistic Director of the Stage Two Theatre Company, where he produced nearly fifty plays in five years, most of them original works.
When Stage Two turned to the classics, Tim adapted his own sparkling rhymed, iambic-pentameter versions of the plays of Moliere creating fifteen new Moliere plays in seven years. Stage Two produced Tartuffe, The Miser, The Schemings of Scapin, The Misanthrope, The Doctor in Spite of Himself and Sganarelle, and companies around the world picked up on these plays too, with productions all across the United States, as well as Canada and even India. U.S. venues included the Pasadena Shakespeare Festival, M.I.T., Wayne State University and Universities of Colorado, Michigan, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Ohio and many more.
Tims writing work brought him full circle, back in front of the footlights as a performer, playing the lead role in many of the works he had written. (In fact, all of the roles in which he now found himself cast were the parts that Moliere himself had originated!) This was to give Tim the impetus for a one-man show, Moliere Than Thou (Best Adapted Work, San Francisco Fringe Fest). The play serves as a quick introduction to some of Molieres greatest works and speeches, and has been seen all over the U.S. and Canada. It has given tens of thousands of students their first exposure to Moliere, and along the way Tim has taught thousands of students in his workshops, introducing the concepts further developed in his upcoming text, Acting at the Speed of Life, as well as his collection of Moliere Monologues.
Most recently, Tim has further refined the art of the one-person show, creating a one-man Sci-Fi Thriller, Criteria, (Artistic Picks Finalist, Seattle Fringe Fest), as well as Karaoke Knights a One Man Rock Opera.
Tim continues to write new versions of the plays of Moliere, novels, short stories, songs, childrens stories and screenplays.
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